


Special Kinds Of Hugs

by Zeyra



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (for now) - Freeform, AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bullying, Gabriel cares, Happy Ending, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Lucifer is a sick pedophile in this sorry, M/M, Manipulative Lucifer (Supernatural), More tags to be added, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Oblivious Gabriel (Supernatural), Sexual Abuse, bullied!SamWinchester, his victim is sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-06-27 09:43:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15682875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeyra/pseuds/Zeyra
Summary: Sam was 12 years old when it first happened.He knew this was something he would remember his whole life, no matter how fast he tried to run from it.--------Luc Novak (Lucifer) sexually abuses Sam for years before Luc's little brother, Gabriel, figures out what's wrong and takes the matter into his hands.





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is a very personal thing that I simply need to write. So all the haters who may have come here wanting to tell me how sick I am to write this, please stay silent and go away.
> 
> For all the others, thanks for staying, one of the reasons why I am writing this is because I want people to be aware that sexual abuse can happen to anyone.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING : SEXUAL CHILD ABUSE
> 
> (my tumblr : zeyrablue)

Sam was six months old when his mother burned alive in a house fire.

Sam was one year old when his brother taught him how to walk.

Sam was three years old when his father insulted him for the first time.

Sam was five years old when he understood that he couldn't count on the one he would from then on call John.

Sam was six years old when his brother saved his life, making him realise that even if the world can be cruel, his big brother would always be there to protect him.

When Sam turned ten, he stopped paying attention in class.

Just before turning twelve, Sam and his brother Dean had to follow John once again as he decided to move out to a small town in Colorado. It was the third time they moved out that year, but this time, it was different. This time, they met the Novak brothers.

Sam was twelve years old when it first happened. 

He knew this was something he would remember his whole life, no matter how fast he tried to run from it.

\------------

"I don't feel pretty Sam... Do you find me pretty ?"

"Well... Yes you're pretty.."

"I don't believe you. Do you know what people do to people they find pretty ?"

"No, what do they do ?"

"They hug them in a very special way. Here, let me show you."


	2. New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam discovers his new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys ! I have no idea why but I struggled at writing this chapter. I couldn't find the right music to listen to, I didn't exactly know what to do with some characters like Bobby Singer yet, etc..  
> But all this is (almost) sorted out now ! And it had almost nothing to do with this chapter anyway so I have time yay !
> 
> Okay so I know nothing much happens but please stay with me, I swear it's going to get better (and longer!) as the story unfolds. ^^
> 
> (my tumblr : zeyrablue)

The day the Winchester family arrived at Silverview, it was raining heavily. Their new home for a few months was a sad looking two stories house. The front yard was a mess of weeds and was looked like rusty car parts. The house seemed to have been blue once upon a time, but now it was mostly grey. Sam seriously doubted it was heated and clean inside, and he really hoped there would be a bed for him to sleep in that night, but hey, at least he would have a room all for himself for once. 

John had told them that a friend of his had kindly accepted to let them live here for a few months, maybe even a year if they were lucky. 

Dean was the first to open the front door and step inside, Sam followed close behind. By looking around, he realised that it wasn’t that bad. Actually, it was even great ! There was a TV in the living room, a table with more than enough chairs for everyone, a couch in front of the TV, the kitchen had an oven and another table ! 

There was a bedroom right next to the kitchen, and John went straight to it and put his stuff there. So that was John’s room now, okay. Sam shared a glance with Dean and they carried their bag upstairs.  
There was three more bedrooms and a bathroom there. The brothers chose the two bedrooms that were closer to each other. After all, they weren’t used to be away from the other, and no matter how many times Sam pretended that he was a big boy now, he was still a child. Many kids his age already knew a lot about sex and girls and all that adult stuff, but it had never interested Sam, who preferred reading books about monsters and watch cowboy movies with his big brother. 

John often screamed at Dean to stop babying him, but Dean never listened to that order. 

Speaking of his genitor, Sam heard the Impala leaving. Of course. That guy couldn’t go a night without getting drunk.

Sam put his bag down on the wooden floor, and sat on his bed, inspecting his new room.

He had never had a room that big before, not even a shared one with Dean. 

There was a cupboard large enough to hold thirty times the amount of clothes Sam had, and okay, he didn’t have many clothes but still, this cupboard was huge ! He already knew where to hide if him and Dean were to play hide and seek. 

There was a bed, which Sam was very thankful for, because he did not fancy the idea of sleeping on the floor until John decided to move his drunk ass to find them beds. It wasn’t the comfiest bed he had ever had, and the blue sheets looked a little worn out, but it was still an awesome bed. 

There was a chair and a desk, and Sam could already see his future laptop sitting on it. He smiled at the thought as his eyes settled on the last thing present in the room : a huge bookcase filled with books. Sam hadn’t seen it at first because it was behind the door.

He stood up and took a few steps forward, reaching out to take a book, when the doorbell rang.  
“Sam ! Can you go open the door please ?” Called Dean from his room.

“Why me ?” Protested Sam. It wasn’t fair, Dean was the big one, he should be the one opening the door to strangers.

“Because you need to socialize !”

“Jerk !” Shouted Sam as he ran down the stairs to open the door.

“Bitch !” Shouted Dean back as Sam answered the door.

“Hey kiddo, who’s insulting you like that ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think ? Was it too boring ? I guess it was. I just wanted to try and describe the house, to yeah, train a little. I didn't want to go too much into the details, just the things that were important for Sam, who never lived in such a comfortable home. 
> 
> Have you guessed who is the friend who let them use his house ? If so, write their name in the comments, and add a special request if you have one. I might include it in my fanfic if you guess right :D
> 
> Next chapter's title is : The Novaks
> 
> Btw who's excited for Sam and Gabriel's first meeting ?? BECAUSE I AM ! *fangirls over her own fanfic* 
> 
> hum, yeah, bye jerks !
> 
> PS : the town's name was chosen by an american friend of mine, because I, french girl who never went to america, had no frickin' idea of what town name is normal for you star spangled eagles XD
> 
>  
> 
> (my tumblr : zeyrablue)


	3. The Novak Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii I a so sorry for being so late, but hey, new chapter, isn't that great ? I hope you didn't think I'd abandon this work. 
> 
> I was really glad to see that so many people are liking this story, I thought most people would just skip this as soon as they understood what it was about. Okay enjoy this chapter !
> 
>  
> 
> (my tumblr : zeyrablue)

“Hey kiddo, who’s insulting you like that ?”

A teenage boy who looked a little older than Dean was standing in the doorway, a plate of cupcakes that smelled like heaven in his hands.

‘He is so handsome’ Was the first thing Sam could think of. And what a loud thought, so loud that Sam hoped the boy couldn’t read it on his face.

The teen had dark blond hair and honey colored eyes. His smile was both warm and playful, almost as if he was about to trick Sam. 

“So, my new neighbor is mute, okay.” Laughed the blond. That laugh was so pure and full, it sounded like an angel. 

“I’m not mute” Replied Sam, feeling his face reddening.  
“What’s the name of my not-mute-neighbor then ?” Asked the teen, his smile widening.

“I’m Sam, short for Samuel.” He said quickly, blushing even more. 

It really sucked to be a twelve years old.

“Okay Sammy. Well I should tell you my name too shouldn’t I ?” The blond paused and looked Sam in the eye. The boy noticed how the guy’s honey eyes were almost sparkling with mischief. “They call me Gabriel. Here, have a cupcake.”

Sam grabbed a cupcake and bit in it. Instantly, he felt like his mouth was on fire. His eyes started watering and he ran into the house to spit the thing in the toilets. 

Gabriel was laughing loudly. It sounded like he wasn’t even breathing. 

Sam gritted his teeth. He sure hoped this asshole wasn’t breathing. 

Freaking chili pepper flavored cupcakes. 

Sam heard Dean running downstairs. 

“What the hell happened ?! Where is my brother ?!” Dean demanded. 

Gabriel kept laughing.

“I’m here Dean” Sam called, wiping the tears from his eyes and cheeks. 

Two familiar hands grabbed his shoulders. 

“Are you okay ? Did you throw up ? What’s wrong Sammy ? Why is the stuff red ? Is it blood ?”

Sam patiently waited for his brother to stop talking.

“It’s Gabriel’s fault. He gave me chili pepper cupcakes. It burns.” Sam said the last sentence as his eyes watered some more. 

“Chili pepper cupcakes ?” Repeated Dean. “Seriously ?”

Sam nodded. He was both mad and in pain, and he was trying his very best to still look composed, but he must have been making a very silly face because Dean burst out laughing and went back to Gabriel, who was barely calming down. 

“Chili pepper cupcakes ?” Repeated his big brother once more, making Gabriel lose control of his laughter all over again. 

“Yes !! I’m a genius !” Replied the blond between two fits of laughter.

“YOU SHOULD BOTH GO TO HELL” Yelled Sam from the toilets, even though he was starting to find the joke funny too. His mouth still burned. 

“Who should be going to hell, exactly ?” Asked a new, weirdly intimidating voice. It was like its owner believed, or maybe knew, they were better than everyone. 

Sam exited the toilets to join his brother and meet the stranger.

Someone with dirty blond hair was standing in the doorway. Sam couldn’t see more because his brother and the pepper asshole were obstructing his vision. 

“Hi Luci. Well apparently, this guy there and me should, but that’s only according to Sammy.”

“Hey Gabe. So those two are our new neighbors ? Hi. My name is Luc. Do not call me Luci like this idiot just did.”

Dean stepped forward and shook Luc’s hand. This gave time for Sam to examine the newcomer. He was a young man, early twenties, with blue eyes and a weird… Something about him. 

“Okay Luc. Name’s Dean Winchester, and this is my little brother Sam. Come on Sammy, go say hi, you’re not six anymore.”

Sam blushed and went to shake Luc’s hand, glancing up at the man’s face as he did so. Luc was smiling and looking at him with a weird sort of intensity.

“And how old is this handsome young boy, if he isn’t six anymore ?”

“I’m twelve.” Replied Sam, wondering why the hell the guy wasn’t letting go of his hand. 

“Okay Sam, well I am a teacher, so if you need help with your homework, you know who to call.”

“Oh that’s great !” Exclaimed Dean. “My brother has had some problems with getting good grades at school lately, but I swear he is the smartest person I have ever met, and I’m not saying that just because he is my brother.” 

“If you were saying anything about his intelligence because he is your brother, you’d say he is stupid” Laughed Luc. 

“Hey !” Protested Gabriel. 

“Calm down you two, you’re going to scare our neighbors, and we agreed that we would socialize, for once.” Called a calm, deep voice with authority. 

“Oh no, not him already. I thought we’d be able to have fun some more..” Sighed Gabriel, looking sadly at his cupcakes.

A young man who seemed to be around the same age as Luc entered. He had dark hair and piercing blue eyes. In his hands, there was a plate of cookies that Sam immediately distrusted. 

“I knew you’d put something… Weird.. In the cupcakes. So I went to the bakery and bought cookies.” The man turned to Sam. “I am so sorry about my little brothers, especially Gabriel. You want some ?” 

Sam stepped back. “No thank you. But Dean said he was hungry earlier.” He added the last sentence while picturing Dean’s face if there was chili pepper in those cookies too.

“I never-” Started protesting Dean before noticing that everyone was looking at him. He thought for a second, grabbed a cookie, and took a bite. His eyes widened and he instantly grabbed three more. 

Cookie man laughed a little. “Well I see I have made someone happy” He smiled. “Is there somewhere I could put this plate ?”

“Yes, the kitchen, come with me” Replied Sam. 

Everyone followed him and they all sat around the kitchen table. 

Luc sat next to Sam and put a cookie in front of his mouth. 

“Come on boy, say ‘ah’, you are going to love it I swear” He smiled. 

Sam frowned and kept his mouth shut.

Dean and Gabriel laughed. 

“I bet he doesn’t want to eat anything he hasn’t made himself anymore because of the cupcakes !” Mocked Dean. 

“It’s not true !” Retorted Sam angrily. “I’m just not hungry.”

Gabriel, who sat on the other side of Sam, smirked. “Now that’s just a stupid lie Sam, just should learn to lie better than that, it could be useful one day.”

Sam sighed, looking at the cookie that Luc still held in front of him. Then he took a bite and, yes, those cookies were heavenly good.

He took the cookie from Luc’s hand and finished it, making everyone laugh again. 

“What’s the name of the bakery ?” He asked cookie man. 

“Bobby’s Sweetie Pies, but everyone calls it BSP”

“And what’s your name ?” questioned Dean, his mouth still full of cookies. 

“Michael. Michael Novak. I am 25, the oldest of the Novak brothers. Luc is 23, and Gabriel is 20. Don’t search for our parents, our mother died giving birth to Gabriel and our father will be away from home for a long time, because of his work.” Michael paused, and offered same a fake smile. “That’s all you need to know, your turn now !”

Dean smiled back, apparently believing the man’s smile. “Well I’m Dean Winchester, Sammy’s big brother, and I’m 17. Sammy is 12, and our father is living with us. Our mom died too when we were really young, so we don’t really remember her.”

Sam couldn’t believe his brother was saying so much to perfect strangers, nice neighbors bringing cookies or not. 

 

“Well then we have a similar past, don’t we ? I think the five of us are going to form a great team, don’t you all think ?” Enquired Michael.

Everyone agreed, and when they turned to Sam, he smiled and nodded.

After all, his brother was right, he needed to socialize. And he should start by learning to trust people more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how do you think it went ? What do you think of the characters so far ? 
> 
> I really like reading reviews, they motivate me to write more, better, and faster ^^ 
> 
> And how are you ? A fanfiction writer made me realise just how important that question is. I'm not just asking this like that, I'm really asking you how you are, you're not forced to reply 'fine' like most people feel like when they're asked this question. 
> 
> Btw, I have no idea if 'pepper' was the exact right word for the thing I was trying to describe. I was talking about, you know, that thing that just starts a fire in your mouth because it's just too hot, you know, that red small vegetable, yeah you see ? so if someone knows the correct word, please, do not stay silent and do me a favor, correct me in a review, you even have the right to call me stupid ^^'
> 
> (my tumblr : zeyrablue)


	4. Happy to Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam gets beat up by bullies. One of the Novaks helps him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for me to update ! I hope you like this chapter, I just finished writing it so there could be some grammar errors and other things like that, but it's 1am right now, so please let me sleep, I'll correct all that tomorow ^^'
> 
> (my tumblr : zeyrablue)

Sam’s first day at school was, as expected, a disaster.

A new kid arriving in the middle of the year and looking smaller and nerdier than anyone else couldn’t possibly survive without getting bullied more than a few hours.

And a new kid with a hatred for bullies that could compete with Captain America’s had an estimated time of survival of less than half an hour.

Sam had already been pushed around twice before the lunch break, and no one had wanted to sit with him. 

Near the end of the break, he had heard a boy pleading for someone to leave him alone. Any normal teen would have ignored it and walked the other way, but Sam wasn’t a normal teen. Hell, he didn’t even consider himself like a teen, he knew he was still a kid in his head and he liked it that way. 

So Sam had decided to go see what was going on, and when he had seen those five older teens around a boy who was half their size, he had saw red.

“Leave him alone, you big bags of dicks !” He had called while his hands formed fists.

He was ready to fight.

The first teen to turn around had really clear hazel eyes, they looked almost yellow. He had a sadistic smirk on his face, and as soon as he saw Sam, he burst out laughing. It was a ugly laugh. 

“And what if he don’t ? You’re going to fight us ? You ? You sound like a six years old and you don’t look older than five !”  
Another guy had turned around to stand next to the yellow eyed leader. He had dark hair and eyes, and his expression was more serious. He looked bored. 

“Come on Azazel, we’re going to be late if we kick that one’s ass too.”

“Yeah. It’s not the last time you’ll see us, slag !” Azazel sneered before walking away, quickly followed by the others. 

The kid that Sam had just got into trouble for stood up and glared at him.

“Great. Now they’re going to beat me up even more often. What a hero you make. I hate you.” He growled, voice trembling with unshed tears, before running to the closest bathroom.

Sam released a painful sigh. He had done more harm than good, and now he was on the bullies’ target list.

Amazing.

\-----------

On the way out of the school at the end of the afternoon, someone pushed him harshly and he fell. 

Sam groaned. He hadn’t expected them to come get their revenge so soon.

He quickly stood up and adopted a defensive stance. Dean had taught him some fight moves. He could do it. It’s not because they were five that Sam didn’t have a chance to win. 

They were forming a circle around him. He couldn’t escape, even though that wasn’t his plan.  
“Still feeling like a hero, slag ?”

“I’m not a hero, but at least I’m not a brainless bully.” Growled Sam.

The yellow eyed guy threw a punch at him. Sam dodged the hit and kicked the teen in the guts with all his strength. 

Azazel instantly held his stomach, eyes open wide as he made a pained noise.

“Azazel, you alright ?” Asked one of his minions. 

“Yes, what the hell are you doing Chris ? Beat this bitch up !”

The four remaining guys turned back to Sam and started hitting him. 

There were too many punches threw at once for Sam to dodge them all, and he fell to the ground, unable to get up as the bullies kept kicking him. Tears started rolling down his face as pain invaded his small body.

After a while, Sam heard Azazel say something, but he didn’t understand what. His head was buzzing due to a hit he had gotten there. He really hoped he didn’t have a concussion. 

Suddenly, the hits stopped coming, and Sam saw blurry pairs of feet walking away through his half closed eyes. 

He stayed on the ground for little while, making sure nothing was broken, and he stood up.

This wasn’t unusual. He was always the new kid, the nerdy loner, a perfect target for the bullies. 

He knew just had to shut his mouth and take it, but he just couldn’t. He had to at least try to fight back even though it just made it worse. He felt less like shit when he could throw a few punches at his aggressors before losing the fight. 

 

He limped back to his new home, thanking whoever was listening that his house was so close to the school, only a few streets and a ten minutes walk. 

“I’m home !” He announced as he took his shoes off and went to the kitchen, hoping he might find some leftovers cookies.

“Hey Sammy, Luc is waiting for you in his house !” Called Dean from upstairs. 

“What ?” Replied Sam.

“He’s going to help you with your homework. And he’s doing it for free, so please tell him thank you at the end of the lesson, alright ?”

Dean sounded so happy with this new thing. Sam however, didn’t remember agreeing to this.

“And what if I don’t want to ?”

His brother sighed.

“Sam… You know that your grades dropped. You’re not working anymore, and I bet you don’t even pay attention in class. You need this, this is a golden opportunity to get back to the grades you used to get !”

Sam’s schooling sounded more important to Dean than it was to the first to be concerned. 

And Sam didn’t want to worry his older brother. At seventeen, Dean had already a lot to worry about. Sam tried to be as independent as he could but he was still only twelve years old, he couldn’t do as much as Dean did. Dean was planning on leaving school to find a job in order to have enough money to take care of Sam. It was very scary to wait for John to give them enough money to survive when the man seemed so unconcerned by his sons.  
Dean always tried to hide that truth from him, but Sam knew that his brother didn’t eat as much as he should in order to feed Sam properly.

“Okay, I’ll go. I’m sorry Dean” Sam said seriously.

There was a short silence before Dean answered. “Well, uh, have fun studying. See you for dinner. Unless the Novaks invite you. In this case call me and see if I can get invited too.” 

“See ya !” Sam said before putting his shoes on again and closing the front door behind him.

The Novaks had told them that their house was the number seven, right across the street. Sam went there and knocked on the door. 

It was Gabriel who opened. 

“Hey kidd-” The happy smile the blond had sported disappeared suddenly. “What happened to your face ?” Asked the yong man.

Sam touched his cheek and, yeah, there was a forming bruise there. Shit.

“I fought with some guy at school. It’s nothing. I won.” He lied easily. 

It always amazed him, how he could lie so skillfully when it was important, but couldn’t help but stutter and look away when it didn’t matter. 

“Oh, okay.” Said Gabriel, lost in his thoughts. After a moment he seemed to remember Sam and told him “Well, come on in, Luci’s waiting for you”  
Sam limped all the way to Luc’s room. ‘upstairs, turn left, it’s the one with the creepy old looking black door, you can’t miss it !’ Had said Gabriel. 

The black door was at the end of the corridor, and as Sam limped closer, it opened to reveal Luc. The man was smiling. He looked Sam up and down before stepping aside so the boy could get in the room.

It was a big bedroom. The bed was a king size, with pitch black sheets and grey pillows. The floor was made in dark wood, and there was a red round carpet in the middle of the room. Against the only window was a desk with only one chair, and on the opposite wall, there was a few shelves as well as a chest of drawers. There also was a flatscreen TV, with a PS4 under it. Sam wondered if Luc would let him try it. 

“I’m sorry, but I’ve only got one chair, is it okay if we work on the bed ?” Asked the dirty blond man. 

Sam nodded and sat on the black bed, opening his school bag to get his stuff out.

Luc sat on the opposite end of the bed and kept silent for a moment as Sam went through his copybooks to find the notes he had taken that day. 

“So, before we start, let me see.”

“See what ?” Asked Sam, surprised. What was the guy talking about ? Homework ? But isn’t that the thing they’re supposed to start ?

“The damage they’ve done.” Luc said in a soft voice.

It was the sort of voice that made you feel like the person was staring into your soul and knew just how bad the world had hurt you. 

“The-The damage ? What damage ?” Stuttered Sam.  
Oh shit. If Dean happened to learn that he was getting bullied again, he would be even more worried. And he might even get into trouble at school if he decided to beat up the bullies. 

Dean couldn’t ever learn this.

“You know what I’m talking about.” Murmured Luc, brushing Sam’s bruised cheek, making the boy flinch. “Hey, it’s okay, I want to help you.”

“Well it would help me a lot if you didn’t say anything.” Sam shot back, but his voice trembled. Luc’s tone made him want to get hugged and protected by the man. It made him feel open and fragile, but also like he could trust Luc.

“I won’t say anything, if you let me see everywhere they hurt you so I can put some ice and healing cream on the bruises. Please Sam. I just want to help you.” Whispered the blue eyed teacher. 

Sam stared into Luc’s eyes, trying to decipher why the man would want to help, and thought for a long while.

“Okay.” He said eventually.

Luc smiled. “Thank you Sam. Thank you. Ok, show me where they hurt you.”

Sam took his shirt off, revealing huge forming bruises on his chest and stomach. Luc didn’t flinch. He was staring at the bruises, and he extended a hand to brush against one of them, before looking Sam in the eye again.

“And the others ?” He questioned.

Sam took his trousers off. 

Luc stared at the bruises once again.

“I’m going to get some ice, you just wait here okay ?” He said after a while. 

Sam nodded.

When Luc came back after a few minutes, Sam let him apply the ice on the biggest bruise and on his face. 

“I also have make up. I thought that maybe you’d want some to avoid worrying your brother.” The teacher informed him. 

Sam’s eyes widened. This man was the nicest adult he had ever met. 

“Thank you so much Luc ! I don’t know what I can do to repay you.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about that, you’re already repaying me” Smiled Luc. 

“Really ? But what do you get from this ?” Wondered Sam.

“Well, I’m just happy to help” Said Luc as he put ice on Sam’s thigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ? How was it ? 
> 
> Are you starting to get uncomfortable reading all these interactions between Luc and Sam ? Coz I get that feeling when I write them. But it's the purpose of the story so yeah, these things aren't stopping soon sorry. There is one thing I will never do, though. It's describe graphically what Luc will do to Sam. It will be strongly suggested and some characters might yell the harsh reality later in the story when they find out (*looks at gabriel*) but you will never have to read this on one of my fanfictions. ^^
> 
> (my tumblr : zeyrablue)
> 
>  
> 
> If you liked this chapter do not forget to tell me what you think, it's very important, okay ? ^^
> 
> And if you like marvel and alternative universes, you might want to go check out the new fanfic I am writing with my friend hawkeye_girl, it's called The Orphanage Initiative, and it's cooler than the first chapters make it seem ! There will be a whole plot with bad guys and a mean organisation who sells children to take down ! (you're the first to know that so don't spoil the others alright ? but make me know you cam from here by signing your comments with 'Gabriel's Cupcakes' ;) ;) ;)
> 
> Some of what might happen in the next chapter : Sam gets hit some more by the bullies, and he gets traumatized for the first time. One good thing though : he gets a mp3 from.... Well I wont tell you ! You'll just have to guess in the comments ;)


	5. A Friend In Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *starts singing in a small, boy's voice* : A friend in need's a friend indeed, a friend who bleeds is better...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends ! I am so sorry that you had to wait for so long but the amount of angst I have to have in my heart to write this story is insane. I mean I'm very angsty. All the time. But this fanfic ? It needs a lot of things to be written :   
> \- My PTSD having been triggered often in the past few days  
> \- Me wanting to write   
> \- Me having time  
> \- Me having time AND NOT USING IT TO READ ANGSTY STUFF  
> \- Me not using the time to write a new thing or continue one of my seven other fics  
> \- Me. (Yeah I need myself to do things, weird I know)
> 
> anyway TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE END NOTES SO YOU DONT GET SPOILED

> A friend in need's a friend indeed,  
>  A friend who'll tease is better,  
> -Placebo, Pure Morning

The next months were a blur for Sam. The days all looked the same to him. It rained almost everyday, the sky was constantly grey and the air was too cold for autumn. Winter promised to be harsh. And it was coming.

Every evening when he came back from school he went directly to the Novak’s house. He had a key now, so he didn’t need to wait for someone to open the door, but it did not mean that he never crossed the path of Michael or Gabriel. Michael ignored him most of the time, but more often than not, Gabriel would be in the kitchen and offer him a cookie or a cupcake. Sam had learned his lesson though, so he never accepted the offer. 

Then Sam would meet Luc in the teacher’s bedroom, and before studying, Luc always asked him to strip so he could see his cuts and bruises, and heal them. 

Sam’s body wasn’t black and blue, so it was never that bad really, but Luc always insisted on taking care of him and listening to him when he needed to vent. It warmed his heart to have someone like Luc by his side, even though sometimes Luc was quite rude.

“If you didn’t make any friends in the past few months, then something must be wrong with you. Maybe it’s the way you look. Seriously Sam, you could work on looking happier, you constantly look like someone just died. You really think that will attract friend ?”

Sam always sighed and protested, but through the months, his protests had grown weaker and weaker. 

Because Luc liked him, wanted the best for him, so why would he lie ? He was just trying to help and if it wasn’t working it was certainly because Sam was not doing it right. 

“You get bullied because you look weak. Like a victim you know ? You should put your chin up, walk like a prince. Look them in the eye.”

Sam already looked his bullies in the eye. Well except the prince thing, but he didn’t want to look pretentious, so he never dared to do that. 

“You know, you’d get less bruises if you stopped fighting back.”

Sam stopped fighting. He didn’t think there were any less bruises, actually it almost looked like there were more, but Luc said he saw less of them, and Luc was older, wiser, so it must have been Sam’s mind tricking him. 

Dean had grown closer to Michael. They bonded over their little brothers and shared love for old cowboy movies and beer. 

One day, around a month ago, Dean told Sam that he thought Michael could be his best friend. Sam had been really happy for his brother, even though a part of him ached, longing for a friend too. 

Then he had reminded himself that he did have a friend : Luc. 

“Hey Luc, can I tell you something ?” He had asked timidly one evening, as his teacher was putting ice on his bruises.

“Yes, go on” Replied the blond, looking up and giving Sam his full attention.

“I’m so happy to have you as a… We’re friends right ?”

Luc had smiled. “Of course we are. I like you a lot, Sammy”

“It’s Sam.”

“Okay Sammy”

Sam had frowned, but it hadn’t been long before his scowl broke into a smile. He was just so happy to finally have a friend ! 

As he did every evening, Sam went to Luc’s bedroom, greeting Gabriel on the way. 

As he did every evening, he knocked on the door.  
“Come in,” came Luc’s voice. But it felt strange. Even though Sam couldn’t tell what it was, something just felt wrong. 

He decided it was his tired brain playing a trick.

Later, he would wish he had believed his instincts and ran. 

Luc was in his bed, watching something on his phone. This wasn’t usual.

“Hi Sam” He said as he turned the phone off and sat in his bed. He made room for the Winchester to seat next to him and Sam hesitated a second or two before going to sit next to the blond.

“So Sam, how was your day ?” Questioned Luc while putting a casual arm around his shoulder. 

This touch was usual, Luc did this almost every evening. Sam believed it was the man’s way of showing him he cared. 

“It was fine, none of the bullies got me and the teachers didn’t bother me either. I ate pizza for lunch !” He told his teacher with a smile.

Luc smiled back faintly. There was a strange glint in the older’s eyes.

The feeling of wrongness invaded Sam’s chest again. 

“Unfortunately my day wasn’t that good.” Sighed the Novak.

“Oh, why ?” Instantly asked Sam. It wasn’t often that his teacher shared bad things about himself. 

“Because I have those thoughts, you know, like the ones that poison your brain…” Luc buried his hand in Sam’s hair and caressed it a little. It felt nice, and suddenly Sam wished he was a cat so he could purr and try to make his friend feel better. 

“Mean thoughts” He murmured.

“Yes..” Whispered the man back, caressing Sam’s hair a little bit more before cupping the boy’s cheek.

“What did the mean thoughts say ?” Sam wondered. He was so focused on helping his friend that he never noticed how unusual it was for Luc to cup his cheek like that. 

“They told me I wasn’t pretty.” murmured Luc, and it felt like the deepest secret the teacher ever had to keep. 

“Well, mean thoughts lie, right ?” Sam told him, his voice trembling a little with emotion. He felt so proud to be considered trustworthy by a man he admired so much.

"But I don't feel pretty Sam... Do you find me pretty ?"

The sudden question took Sam off guard, but he knew his friend was seeking much needed comfort.

"Well... Yes you're pretty.." He really hoped it was the right thing to say. 

Sadly, it seemed it wasn’t, because the blond frowned, looking pained by the boy’s answer.

"I don't believe you. Do you know what people do to people they find pretty ?"

"No, what do they do ?" Sam really wanted to know how to help Luc.

"They hug them in a very special way. Here, let me show you." 

Slowly, the teacher’s hand who wasn’t cupping his cheek traveled down his shirt, barely touching the fabric, and then went just below his waist, and landed right where his…

“Wait Luc ! I-I-I don’t want you to t-touch me… Uh… Down there..” He protested in a small and high pitched voice as fear filled him slowly but surely.

Luc hummed, but didn’t stop. 

Sam froze. He did not understand what was happening. Was that a hug ? Was it normal ? 

“Is this normal ?” He murmured, feeling panicked and confused. 

“Yes.” Whispered Luc in his ear, sending weird shivers down his spine. 

Sam believed him. Because Luc was his friend. Luc always helped him. 

And if that could help cheer his friend up, Sam would be an asshole if he refused to do it.

And if a voice in the back of his brain whispered ‘I don’t think you have a choice in the matter anyway,’ he tried his best to ignore it, for it sent waves of dread through his young and bruised body.

> A friend in need’s a friend indeed,  
> A friend who bleeds is better  
> -Placebo, Pure Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS : strongly suggested rape of an underage boy, psychological and emotional manipulation of a child.
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> So ? What did you all think ? Still alive after that awful scene ? I hope so, coz really, it's far from being over. Also, prepare yourself, because sweet Sam is gone. Let depressive traumatised Sam come in ! 
> 
> I love you all so much, and I hope you are alright. If you ever feel like you or someone you know can identify to Sam, please talk to me or call 800.656.HOPE (4673), and you'll to be routed to a local sexual assault service provider in your area. (if it doesnt work, try to type 'sexual assault hotline' in your mother tongue on the internet, I bet you'll find something) I hope you are all okay and I just really wanted to put it there because I don't want to have any of my dear readers suffering from that awful stuff, even though I know it probably happened to many of you. Way more than anyone would think. It makes me want to scream.


	6. No Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mind had strange ways of protecting itself when it reaches its breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers ! I'm so sorry that it took so long to write this sixth chapter ! I hope I can write more often in the future but I can't promise anything. Just know that you aren't forgotten, and never were. 
> 
> Enjoy !

Sam didn’t sleep that night.   
The sky was tainted pink by dawn and he was still staring at his ceiling, the events of the day before playing in his head like a broken record.

Luc walked him back to his house, and that was not usual, so Gabriel had asked what was wrong. 

“He isn’t feeling well today” Had replied Luc, as Sam just stared into the nothingness.

“Oh, okay, well, you’re lucky to have Luci, aren’t you Sammy ?”

Luc’s hand on his shoulder had tightened. Sam had nodded slowly, wondering why he felt like crying.

None of it had felt real. But it was nothing, it was normal, completely normal, all of it, and Luc had smiled, Luc was happy now.

“My pretty boy” He had whispered in his ear as Sam was fighting back tears.

No, it didn’t feel real. This was just his mind, his mind being sick.   
And even if it was real, Sam had no right to cry or complain or anything. 

“Repeat after me, Sammy. This is normal, this is what friends do.”

“This is normal, this is what friends do.”

“Good boy. You are so pretty, do you know that ?”  
Sam felt his eyes sting, but for the hundredth time he fought against the tears.

Someone knocked on the door. Dean.

“Sammy, time to wake up, I made pancakes !”

“Coming” He called, but to his horror his voice wasn’t sounding like it should.

“Sam, are you crying ?” The intense concern in his brother’s voice was the exact reason why he couldn’t tell him about any of his problems, Dean would just blow them out of proportion. 

Sam touched his cheeks and no, no he wasn’t crying. 

“No, why do you ask ?” He replied, careful to make his voice sound normal this time.

“Oh, uh, for nothing, you voice just sounded weird.”

The day at school was almost normal. Almost because at the end of the day his english teacher asked him to stay after class.

Sam had stood in the middle of the classroom, hoping that the teacher would stay behind his desk, but not exactly knowing why he wanted to keep his distance so much.

The teacher was a man in his thirties, with light blond hair and hazel eyes. He was always nice to Sam and had even gave detention to his bullies a few times, not that it had made anything better of course, but Sam appreciated the gesture anyway.

And obviously, with Sam’s luck, the man stood up and went to sit on the desk nearest to Sam.   
An unexplained dread filled him, making him feel like his bones were made of ice.

‘Don’t touch me, don’t come near, don’t touch me..’

“I’m really impressed by your progress since your arrival Samuel, you are really close of becoming my best student, you know ?” The teacher smiled and put a hand on his shoulder.

Sam flinched back violently and took a few steps back until he hit the desk behind him. His heart was beating faster that a panicked rabbit’s.

“Don’t touch me. I’m not your friend.” He growled, his voice shaking with intense fear. 

Everything was blurry around him and he could barely breathe, the air hurt his lungs and all he wanted was..

“Sam, Sam are you alright ? Can you hear me ?”

A hand entered his field of vision and it was way too close, way to close, no. Not again. 

Sam ran. He ran and he didn’t stop running until he reached his door.

Out of breath, he entered and went right to the kitchen. He wanted to drink some water. 

He poured himself a glass and when he turned around Dean and Michael were here, looking at him strangely. Dean sat at the table and motionned for Sam to do the same. Sam didn’t, for some reason he still felt like running, and he had the intuition that he wasn’t going to like this conversation.

“Your school just called. Apparently you ran away from your english teacher… Why ?” 

Sam froze, his jaw clenched as anger rose inside his chest. He glared at his brother and Michael backed away towards the door.

“I’m just gonna let you two handle this… See ya Dean !”

The door opened and closed. 

Dean looked at his little brother expectantly. Still, Sam said nothing, trying desperately to contain his burning anger. Why was he so angry anyway ? 

After a few more minutes of silence, Dean sighed. 

“Sammy, you need to tell me what’s going on. I’m your big brother, I can help. I swear.”

Sam’s hand formed fists. 

“How dare you ?” He muttered, trying to keep the furious words in. 

“What ?”

‘How dare you not see how bad I feel, how dared you let me get hurt this way, how dare you act like you can make everything better ?’ Was what Sam wanted to say. However, he couldn’t bring his mouth to form the right words. 

“How dare you swear that you can help ? You never helped ! You’re fucking shit at being a big brother !”

“What ? Sammy calm down !” Dean exclaimed as he stood and went to his brother, arms extended to grab his arms. As soon as he touched him, Sam flinched and jumped backwards, shouting. 

“NO ! You’re an asshole ! Don’t come near ! Don’t talk to me ! I’m not your friend !”

Sam ran to his bedroom before Dean could say another word. 

Two hours later, there was a knock on the Winchesters’ door. Sam was lying in bed, doing nothing but thinking. His eyes opened wide when Dean greeted the person at the door.

“Yes ? Oh hi Luc.” Greeted Dean’s tired voice. 

“Hello Dean, how are you ? I was wondering if Sam was alright, he didn’t come to his lesson today.”

“Oh yeah, he’s been an ass today, you can go upstairs and get him. Maybe he’ll talk to you.”

“He doesn’t talk to you ?”

“No, hasn’t been for a while now. Does he talk to you ?”

“No, not that much.”

“Do you know how it is going for him at school ?”

“Fine, from what he tells me.”

“He ran away from one of his teachers today.”

“I’ll talk to him, Dean, don’t worry.”

“Thank you Luc. I’m glad he has you.”

“You’re welcome, I’m happy to help.”  
In his bed, Sam was shaking in fear and anger. He felt so betrayed. Why couldn’t Dean tell Luc to go away ? Why wasn’t his big brother protecting him ? 

The youngest winchester heard footsteps coming up the stairs and started hyperventilating. 

There was a knock on the door. 

“Hey Sammy, it’s Luc, let me in.”

Sam’s hands closed into fists. 

“No.” He intended to sound angry but it came out as a weak pleading. 

Luc opened the door anyway. 

Sam did not move. He was petrified by the sight of Luc closing the door behind him, locking it. 

The man turned to Sam and smiled. 

“So, how are you Sammy ?”

The boy didn’t answer. His teacher sat next to him on the bed and put a hand on his shoulder. Sam looked away, forcing himself to focus on the dust covering the books in the bookcase. 

The hand slipped underneath his shirt, massaging his shoulder. 

“You seem tense, little one… Let me take care of you.”

Sam tried to read the books’ titles, but his vision went blurry with tears. 

“Hey, no, don’t cry ! Sammy, I’m doing this to help you, it’s comforting, and it’s normal between friends. Because we’re friends, right ?” 

When Sam didn’t answer, Luc cupped his cheek and turned Sam’s face towards him so they could make eye contact. Sam’s eyes met his for half a second before the boy looked away. “Right, Sammy ?” He repeated, sounding pained and insecure.

The brown haired boy nodded. Luc’s frown instantly turned into a huge smile.

“So you’re gonna let me help ?”

Sam closed his eyes and nodded once more. 

\-------------

“Bye Sammy, see you tomorow !”

“See you tomorow” Answered Sam, and he sounded blank.

He sat in silence as Luc was intercepted by Dean on his way out.

“So, did he say something ?”

“Yes, he told me that his friend talked a lot about his mom today and that it upset him.” 

“What a dick. You know the name ?”

“Yes, but it’d be a bad idea to mess with this, don’t you think ?”

“Yeah, Sammy should learn to deal with stuff on his own.”

“You’re a great big brother Dean, I’m glad that you and my own big bro are best friends, maybe you’re influence him or something.”

“Oh he uh, he told you we’re best friends ?”

“No, but he spends more time with you than with anyone else, so it’s safe to say that you two are BFF, congrats !”

They laughed.

“I better go but, why not come over to our house for dinner tonight ?” 

“That’d be great, thanks Luc, but will your brothers be okay with that ?”

“Don’t worry about them, Dean, they love you two. And maybe that’ll cheer Sam up ! So, it’s 6 right now, so see you in two hours, okay ?”

“Yeah ! See ya Luc, thanks again !”

“Don’t mention it.”

The front door closed. 

“Sam, we’re having dinner at the Novak’s tonight !” Called Dean.

“Okay.” Answered Sam, way too quietly for Dean to hear.

He felt like a part of him had been erased, and his ability to feel had disappeared with it.

He went to take a shower and as he rubbed his skin with a bit too much strength, he saw no marks, no scars, no bruises, where Luc’s hands had been. The only thing there was was the ghost of Luc’s touch.

‘No scars, no bruises. It doesn’t matter if it happened or not. I’m not even hurt. It doesn’t matter. I should be over it. It’s normal anyway.’ He repeated in his head like a mantra. 

Once out of the showers and dressed, he headed downstairs, all thoughts of Luc’s hands on him gone, as if the memories of what happened had vanished. He felt fine. A bit empty, a bit tired, and vaguely afraid of something he could not identify, but fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think ? Also, no lyrics this time, I couldn't think of any song that could fit this chapter... Do you have any ? I'd love to know what song you think fits with this chap the best :D
> 
> Next chapter is the dinner at the novak's, and maybe a few more things but... yeah, I can't spoil x)
> 
> BY THE WAY do you guys want to have Gabriel's point of view later on ? Like, really later, he isn't gonna be main before a while, sorry...

**Author's Note:**

> Do not worry my friends, the rest of the chapters will be longer. This was just the intro. I hoped you liked it, and I noticed that I write significantly faster when I get comments, so if you want chapter 2, you know what to do :)
> 
> (my tumblr : zeyrablue)


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